Monday, August 10, 2009

The Next Time..........

I knew that when I arrived at the place, you were there. My eyes didn't tell 'coz I made sure not to look. It was my heart that instantly felt your presence.

I pretended not to notice you as you were at the corner. And I chose to sit on the other end as well so the job would be easier for myself - building this imaginary wall in between to shield me from an unstoppable force of attraction coming from your direction. But all through out, I could hear your voice. I wanted to glance but I managed not to, even in one funny story you told about me. I just laughed with everybody. When some asked me questions, I could sense you leaning forward from your seat, looking at me, waiting for some interesting answers. Still, I managed not to look back.

I thought my defenses were working, until it was time to call the night off. As I walked down the stairs, somebody tapped my shoulder. It was you. You just mentioned my name so sweetly then twirled your arms into mine. And from there, I found myself caught off guard again. Between our bodies was pure silence. I wasn't sure what that silent moment meant to you. But for me, it was frighteningly great.......great to feel a certain kind of magic, yet so frightening to feel something I was not supposed to feel.....or at least allowed to feel.

Goodbye! That was the only word I managed to utter.......then, you were gone.

I know we'll see each other again. And the next time you're gonna be next to me, clinging on my arms, I'll gonna hold you back and won't ever let go.......

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

A Tribute to Cory

This is the first time, in more than three years, that I'm experiencing again the benefit of a Philippine holiday - a time to rest, away from work. Today is not the typical "rest" day for me though. I've been soaked on screen as early as 9 this morning watching another remarkable event in Philippine history- the burial of Cory Aquino, who finally laid her armors down from her long bout of colon cancer.

I'm quietly amazed of how the whole nation mourns on the former president's passing. People are continuously flocking at Manila Cathedral and Manila Memorial Park today to bid their final goodbyes to the late Mrs. Aquino despite the heavy rain.

Honestly, I grew up not much of a Cory fan. Perhaps, it has something to do with me having been raised by Marcos loyalists (Papa and Mama) and having been grown in an Ilokano community. I was young then, couldn't think things of my own, only influenced. I might still be sucking my thumb when the People Power Revolution emerged in EDSA and caused the change of national governance from Marcos to Aquino in 1986. I was just in elementary for the later part of Cory's term until the presidency was passed over to FVR in 1992. Again, I didn't understand anything about the government and its politics. If there were few things I knew about these transitions, I knew them only because of my requirement to pass our Philippine History class.

Now as a grown-up, I can comprehend much better. I know that history was written when Cory introduced "democracy" and took her seat in Malacanang, as the first lady president not only in the Philippines, but in Asia. I know that it took tremendous courage for a "plain housewife" to end a 20-year ruling of the country's most powerful man that time. And it took even greater strength to survive numerous coup attempts and monster critics during her administration. With her, having endured all these, is her mightiest and only weapon, the rosary.

It is this same weapon, which Cory clinged on after her life in the Palace. Criticisms never ceased, going beyond....to her family, especially to her most controversial child Kris. She was questioned as a leader before.....and then, as a mother. But she kept her strong faith. She continued saying her prayers, even at her most vulnerable stage, when her battle with cancer started.

I saw how people sympathized when Cory's health condition was announced on national TV last March 2008. I felt sorry for her too, but more of the reason that she had fallen another victim of this big C, the same incurable disease that took my father away from me. But seeing and hearing all the outpouring and overwhelming stories and tributes since her death about how kind and loving this woman was, how she touched the lives of many for her decency and selflessness, how she even made political adversaries to temporarily set aside their differences and unite on her wake, and how she showed everyone else how powerful prayers are, I instantly become an admirer. There's indeed a "Cory Magic". And it hits me. How I wish I was born a little earlier, so I had the chance to become old enough to fully understand and realize that our nation was once presided by someone with integrity, who was never greedy of power and who graced some shade of purity on politics, which is just defined in this country nowadays, as a plain dirty game.

The burial ceremony in Manila Memorial Park is not over yet. My rest day is. I'm still in front of the TV screen.....on tears. I hope these humble tears on my cheeks and these sincere words on my blog are enough to show my last respect to a true icon of democracy, of peace, of love and of faith. Thank you and goodbye, Madam Cory!

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